i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
