dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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