I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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