I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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