yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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