Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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