i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
