erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
