he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
