i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
