You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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