How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
