Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
