Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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