Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She bit a glass in half.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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