Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
