Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
