i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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