Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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