i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
