I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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