it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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