Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
