Four minutes until I can fart!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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