guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
