If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Dicks are not precious.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
