Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
