This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
