Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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