I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
