I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
