double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
