she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
