She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm like, not good at living.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
