brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
