So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
