I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
