At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
