Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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