Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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