is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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