the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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