quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
