I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
