i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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