What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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