She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
