I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
