What a fucking waste of an outfit
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She bit a glass in half.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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