Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just forgot I was standing up.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
