TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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