at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
