She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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